Glint always

Lost interest in the stewardess rp fast. Same goes for the modeling. Let's face it: Glint has always been and always will be my home. I am hopeful.
But its a drawback that YT decided to leave DD. We lose one of the best roleplayers and charisnmatic character I have ever known.

Brighter things are coming

It seems that second life looks bright again for Gera. With the return of the true presidente del Glint "Ma'am" YT, all looks better. Gera has been appointed to be her secretary, she has been granted posting rights in the DDI where she must read out the Presidential Daily. Old friends have returned. Sir Ulric, the wonderful Moose and lo and behold, Sir Dunnagh is making his comeback too.

And on top of that, she has found a new job in another rp, a different sim. She will be an air hostess, a stewardess for TNA airlines. After looking for a new rp for such a long time, now where she found her way back to the DD she suddenly found another sim too where she might be able to get involved. Its important for her to have an additional rp besides the Den. That is a lesson she has learned at least.

To be or not to be...

I struggle so much with getting back into RP that today I seriously considered to kill my sad Gera. Let her rest in peace and...but I could not do it. I love her too much. While i was still pondering about her situation, her role at DD...
Dunnagh appeared. He whisked Gera away and we talkd for a long time. About our characters and roleplay and what to do.
We decided to keep searching for a new place for us. For Dunn and Gera to become again what they were. Until then they will grab any chance to be together.
When he left i was filled with new hope. Gera went searching for rp sims and found a place called Canada. Urban modern setting, Police and Firefighters, lots of cars and men, women, children running around. I was just surprised about the slightly chaotic roleplay there. Mixing of ooc and ic despite the strict rules. But I will send my girl to check this out further.

2011

A new Year. Lets hope its a good.
Glint has changed its look yet again. And I have a home there again. A rented cottage. Now lets see if I can find my place in the DD again and get back into roleplay.
I miss Dunnagh, haven't seen him for a long time. But thats my fault because I was not inworld a lot over the past weeks.

Was it too much?

I almost fear i have broken my character. Now i need a plan how to play on.

Another little crisis

Two days ago we RPed Gera's trial in the Dark Den. I had been very excited to do that. When we did though I soon got myself into a mess. The RP was very heavy for me. My character was accused of many crimes, her words were twisted and used agains her, her weaknesses were reveiled and put on show. All in all pretty normal procedure in Glint. And absolutely great RP. But somehow I couldn't take it. I felt bad ooc. I couldn't cope with the fact that my character was hated so much. I thought I must have done something wrong because I never intended to get my character to be hated. There are some brilliant players who can do that but I never could which is the reason why I picked a character that is usually soft and tries to get on well with others. After a while I even got worried that this hatred was not just IC. Yes, what if the players really didn't like me and the way I play Gera. I literally choked up during the RP. My character said less and less. When it was over I was in daze like my character. She went outside the building and another player who plays one of the new judges stopped her and said she would like to take her to lunch to get over the shock. But I was so shaken from the trial RP that I couldn't play. I said to her ooc that I was too shaky after the heavy RP , that I couldn't cope with it right now. On top of that I crahshed as soon as we were starting the lunch scene. She was very kind and understanding. I was ready to log off when another player whom I admire alot stopped Gera and took her over to the garage for a quiet talk. He too noticed that something was wrong with me ooc. He asked and I told him that I was worried that this heavy RP trial had been more that just a game, that it was meant to get to me ooc. Thank god that I was honest about it because then he told me something that lifted a rock from my heart. He saidthe good, regular players that people like, tend to get the harder plays.You dont take that time and effort for someone you dont like ooc.
I can't even put in words how much his words meant to me. How he calmed me down and made me realize that everything was fine. I love Glint and its players so much, love the RP there. This sim is my home and I really need to get my head straight.

Better now

Where have they been hiding you? That was delicious!!!
That was surely the best RP I've had here...and I thank you for it!

Isn't SL wonderful. Just after I had posted here, I went inworld to the DD. Went to the church, not looking on the map and found myself in front of a fairly new player.
We started to rp and it was just awesome. He was witty, descriptive, just basically a very very good roleplayer and after we had finished the scene, he IMed me ooc and said the sentence above.

Now I feel so much better. Maybe my roleplay isn't that bad after all. So I get up, dust myself off , take a deep breath and get back into the game.

Personal RP crisis?

Lately I am not happy with my roleplaying in DD. I find its neither witty nor does it always make sense. I find it a struggle to play true to my character bacause lately my character is in some sort of crisis and she is unsure who she really is. I notice that I am playing not as bold as I used to. I am very careful lately and get insecure about everything, even about the fact that I am not a native speaker. Also I do a lot of typos. We've got a lot of very good roleplayers at DD and I fear I am not up to standart. I don't know why I never worried about all this before. I just hope I get over it soon.

A great friend

Today I visited one of my best friends in sl. He is an awesome person. He likes Chicago and The Beatles and space science. Sometimes we meet up and talk in his beautiful home. I've met him first in DD. We even used to roleplay. But nowadays we mainly sit and talk. And I always enjoy his company.

Better now

I had that talk with my DD friend and I feel alot better now. One thing it showed me though was that Gera is so naive still. She hardly knows whats going on sometimes or what people know about her.

And more...

Oh and there was another talk today that made me sad. I talked to an old friend from Dark Den. He said the people I hang out with are "Meh". I asked him who he is refering to but he wouldn't say because he thinks it would influence me. All this made me angry and sad, especially after he told me who he is hanging out with these days. With a group of people who I call "The DD Elite". People who never talk to me or rp with me. Everybody wants them but they are a clique, hard to get into the Elite. And he is one of them. I feel they look down on the rest and he tells me my friends are "Meh". He said we talk more about it next time. But I was sad.